i love my angel

2010-11-21T10:17:00.000+08:00

3 years and 2 days ago I was the happiest idiot

fast forward now, all I see is just darkness

2010-07-17T03:12:00.002+08:00

I walked in the rain, searching

for the meaning of my life

there I found her, cold and sobbing

as I cradled her in my arms

destined to be my wife

of great beauty and lovely charms

together with small yet happy dreams

I walked in the rain, searching

calling out for the love of my life

whilst the rain pelted, thundering

a tiny bit of hope glowing warm

I prayed for that cold hard knife

to kill that internal tormenting storm

with her soft and tender words of care

as hope gave me this beautiful nightmare

2010-04-15T00:40:00.001+08:00

We have dear Cupid painted blind

as broken hearts pretend to be fine

with happy memories that blindly bind

left in solitude where loveless dine

as our hopes and dreams fall to grind

shall I ever get back those of mine

-k

2010-04-08T22:24:00.002+08:00

You were the one which I needed

right here and now tonight

my love and life that I ceded

for you, the future of our right

Just want to hold you tight

right here in my arms

as I am held swayed still in your charms

just as I promised, for you I will fight

But it seems everything had to end

alone I have to fend

every pain and sorrow alone

this solitude chills to the bone

No matter how I denied

The nights have turned colder

as my heart died

-k

2010-03-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

just walk the lonely path of solitude

2009-12-04T23:11:00.002+08:00

I walked down the isles of the morn
past the gates of aways and plays
as you sat beside me watching the dawn
as we counted down each of your remaining days
you said we would walk down the isle again
said in five years we would hold hand in hand
yet the high we shared ended just as it began to begin
as we yearned to be tied together in a band

But as the hand I held slowly lost its warmth
so did the soul of mine left with yours
and the little union of our melancholy love
what was left was my living body, an empty husk
as another one of love had came to birth
then as she slowly grew my heart back into my armours
as I began to truly appreciate her, a dying dove
she was as I was left to face alone the secluded dusk

-k

2009-11-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

Said that princesses never took their knights
yet ignored it all to delve right into those nights
she came right in the time of great need
danced and cheered around in Ecstasy we feed

falter the knight did, turned out they life
as personal calls and self-interests set right in
never did he noticed what was dear was in strife
and the heart cracked with words unspoken within

in two years last she created the strongest of all
yet in her simple departure, he fell into crumble
complete eradication of that knight which had to fall
with no will or wilt to carry further on, complete disable

with no warmth nor happiness within for one to hold
and in a bloody great cut through right once again
never knew thy would be the one which meant the world
now the cute is no longer beside as the knight's toils began

-k

2009-10-11T02:48:00.002+08:00

I see only grief and hope
as my wounds open again
and the soul sinks into the depths
screaming for respite
yet it is in the mockery of hope
where it breeds utter disappointment

2009-10-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

october calls
as life falls

2009-09-18T00:57:00.002+08:00

in just an eye-blink her 21st birthday just went past
just like our hopes and dreams never came to pass
we met, fought, cursed and went wild with lightning farse
but we fell, broke and lost each other equally fast

left here broken to rot into worthless dust
cursed to beat the world till it rots and rust
but thy can never do anything alone
in this battered soul left into the forlorn

with her I see sorrowful beauty in endless depths
without, there is only destitution in every crack
as we tasted every forbidden fruits in our youths
as we shaped an insatiable lust between our lives aback

every drop we took, we shared, we lusted in all
just like an addict in total withdrawn in his call
everyday is just a beautiful anguish of screams
as I remember the love scarred within dreams

-k

2009-09-09T23:00:00.002+08:00

I've walked the lonely road of life for far too long
searching this deep dark world to whom I belong
saw no sign of enjoyment that they boldly proclaim
only the bittersweet anguish of freedom I claim

the heart is empty yet sinks with tremendous weight
an empty void cursed to go forever solo by fate
find not an inch of solace in doing anything enjoyable
without anyone special behind me I'm simply a disable

They said memories are to be kept and cherished
but the best ones keep my life constantly tarnished
and it all felt like only yesterday of sunshine and glee
broken promises of the future shatters all in me

just like a pain kept in is a pain excruciatingly magnified
still I ponder over my failures and any ridiculous mistake
All the emotion and bonds around me are slowly glorified
I yearn for thee yet it is once which I cannot take

-k

2009-07-27T23:37:00.002+08:00

I see everything around me silently
but they just fill me with envy and longing

company of three
the joy of thee
product of bee

shall you know what I've longed for
but internally all I have is an internal war

let me cruise around alone
i can only shed and moan
feel the joy in others
everyday passing into blunders

all I see i hopelessness
let me spin round directionless
only the one courageous person
need be to come save me without gain
else I shall never see the stars again

-k

2009-07-21T20:49:00.002+08:00

I used to be indestructible, but no longer
I had direction in life, but it's spiraling further

Even the very stars have forsaken me
only the darkness is left to comfort me
and the memories cut deeply and deadly
As I collapse from despair, slowly yet surely

Losing the person dear to the heart cuts
not attaining the comfort ever, rips and sucks
ever ounce of life, everything was in vain
sacrificed blood to scorned and in disdain

Dance and spiral into the sweet night rust
into the world of madness and bloodlust
that takes in all the derelicts to congregate
where hope, dream and love disintegrate

Take comfort seeing that comfort exists
but the yearn to attain it again I can't resist

2009-06-15T19:15:00.007+08:00

Who would we promise the stars to?

I sat there with Candy looking at the brightest star
held each other with longing and curious desire
we were once one and now so close but forever far
but in our minds we know we can never relight that fire
everyone wants their carefree life back again
like me knowing that there isn't any future with Candy
but now everyone is cold, hard and cruel just to gain

Wish for childlike innocence but life is not just as dandy
we counted the stars and counted the couples left and right
and pairs of lovely love birds everywhere seem limitless
just like the twin-stars twinkling in the cold dark eventide
just the two of us oddballs walking around aimless... loveless
everyone told us in the end, we WILL see the covenanted light
but all we see around us is just the solemnly spurned twilight

-k

2009-06-09T01:59:00.002+08:00

I sacrificed this world to hold you
and you were everything to me
I saw my future within you
but everything fell apart bright before me

2009-06-05T03:20:00.000+08:00

I live my life in misery
I'd sacrifice this world to hold you
No breath left inside of me
Shattered glass keeps falling

Bullet for My Valentine - Say Goodnight

2009-06-01T02:11:00.002+08:00

I wonder around town and frown
check all those I had let right down
shall we all go flinging and flying unbound
but I cannot hear that melody sound

We all have our cute up and downs
sorrows never able to be drowned
screams of the untold pain and woe
getting sober will not bring me up so

Beautifully dead and morbid
I see only lovely crumbling of life's blood
short snaps memories of candies
shall you come right back or let me flood

You said you'll watch over me slaughter
but all that happens is a withered falter

2009-05-09T04:24:00.002+08:00

i remember the nights
so serene and tranquil
seeing you sleep by my side
at peace with such beauty

lying so close to you
feeling your heart beating
breathing your breath
eternal bliss ensures

with you beside me
every treasured moment
i never sleep but watch you do
dreaming my sweetest dreams

but you are gone, far from me
i miss all the kisses we had
all i needed this life was you

in my craze to not miss a single thing from you
in pride and downs i simply missed you as a whole

2009-05-06T02:59:00.002+08:00

when i told u i didnt harbour any hope to get u back
i was lying
when u said vanny wasnt real
i died a little inside
when u said i lied to u and the relationship was based on a lie
i saw only hopelessness
when u told me u never enjoyed any of our intimate times together
i felt useless
it was only when u said that u threw thumper away and deleted ur birthday post off ur blog
that i felt
all my love for u shattered right before me for i had always thought that day was ur happiest with me
but to let u know i really truly loved u with all my heart everything i did i did with your best interests at heart
and i know u see all these only as lies

2009-05-05T22:21:00.004+08:00

here comes May a month I desired
was a month just a month
nothing special to me at all really
just a month to keep you close again

----or i had thought

just like a roller coaster we are now
in the lowest of lows, no strength to even climb
like a hermit crab without its shell
I'm much more crippled than you can see

the decision you make, you sure it's yours
alone made in the cold dark without any
cruel, jealous or hell even zealous outside intentions
your words say otherwise but your actions said so

----did you?

if it was yours, I wouldn't be dreaming of you anymore
no more nightmares and just the happy go lucky me
had my assurances worked, or did some deprived whore
make you ponder and doubt me like so now

----must you?

I believe we all want something with a selfish intent
no matter how righteous the call is or was
I will tell you what my selfish intent is with you
with you I get the freedom and support to do crazed things others would scream no

----What about you?

you may feel sorry for the hurt I eat these days
you say you need to think for yourself
look what have you become, the very thing you formerly hated
but the greatest hurt I feel is seeing you misguided to doom

----you really do

well it is said a whore will bring her friends into whoring
by scaring them of the horrors of being whored
can't you see? I do not need you to come back
just stay back from being turned whoring

----you have to

you breathe life to this heart and it ain't black and dead anymore
I do wish of course to repay my savior in price return
I do hope you understand me for the whore knows much
very much about the language thy use here

----i thank you

now just give me the strength I once had
the vengeance the sadistic the cruelty
revert this living heart back to death
so my hands may go around sweet pulsing neck of hers

----return me this....right now

2009-04-26T17:29:00.002+08:00

just 2 weeks without her
everything has finally became clear
how I've hurt her and such

maybe all we needed was a break
not a break up
but you had made that choice
I cannot reverse

But I will definitely tell myself
that whenever I think back on these 1 and 1/2 years so
I will always regret
for not treasuring the last few treasures left in this heart

Sadly regret is always too late
my simple pride and complacency
blinded me to your tears
for regret and sorry solves nothing
as it seems

2009-04-23T04:49:00.001+08:00

giving up is such a pain
none wanted us to part
maybe there was 1 who wanted
but then maybe giving up
was the best I could give you back in return

I just yearn for just 1 day
1 day back like the old happy times again

2009-04-20T22:26:00.002+08:00

i need my princess take care of her soft toy babies! =(

or if mummy doesnt want daddy then babies get forsaken too?

and yes there was a question u ask which i left unanswered
you asked

what's your dreams?

夢って何？

am i part of your dreams?

you're already part of my dreams

and my reply to you now is... no princess you are not part of my dreams

you are my dream itself please don't turn my beloved dream into a nightmare for me =(

2009-04-19T15:49:00.001+08:00

i still want my princess!

i dunt care hmph! =(

2009-04-17T21:47:00.002+08:00

does it has to end this way?

no more princess anymore?

even the smell of you on your clothes bring tears back to my eyes

if you insist then I cannot resist

stay as friends?

I thank you for being such a wonderful and caring girlfriend all these while and I wish you well (:

keep in touch

19 Nov 2007 - 17 April 2009 ---- where I was a knight for a beautiful princess Bella

2009-04-17T02:43:00.001+08:00

please answer my calls princess
i need you =/

2009-04-15T19:02:00.000+08:00

Michael Learns to Rock : You Took My Heart Away

Staring at the moon so blue
Turning all my thoughts to you
I was without hopes or dreams
I tried to dull an inner scream but you
Saw me through

Walking on a path of air
See your faces everywhere
As you melt this heart of stone
You take my hand to guide me home and now
I'm in love

You took my heart away
When my whole world was gray
You gave me everything and a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life

Living in a world so cold
You are there to warm my soul
You came to mend a broken heart
You gave my life a brand new start and now
I'm in love

You took my heart away
When my whole world was gray
You gave me everything and a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life

Holding your hand
I won't fear tomorrow
Here were we stand
We'll never be alone

You took my heart away
When my whole world was gray
You gave me everything and a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life

You become the meaning of my life
You become the meaning
You become the meaning of my life

2009-04-15T00:39:00.001+08:00

forgive me my darling
let me come right back in
show me my wrongs
and let me make them right

I may not be right beside you
but always remember
whatever I do or did
I assumed it had your interests in heart

Had it got warped or twisted
please save me from this mighty corruption

2009-04-14T20:17:00.001+08:00

where is my princess!
my chest feels hollow
only pain seeps within
all I hear is sorrow
save me before the pain
comsumes

2009-04-14T00:21:00.001+08:00

day by day
little by little
I'm dying a little inside
only you can save me

2009-04-13T00:00:00.001+08:00

just like every other failure
i am no doubt one like them
without his lady by his side
cursed weak and dead right here

2009-04-12T01:16:00.002+08:00

Look back to our humble beginnings
We shared love so strong and deep
So elated was I that a poem everyday
created to present my humble love

Little did I know, she presented a grave
threat and despair to your little heart
I presumed you were fine and trust
But as the poems and love tokens fade

Rest assured that you are still the one
here in my heart no matter how hollow
Forgive me in all the hurt I have done
let me help you remove your sorrow

Please trust me once again
I need it so
For without you
this life becomes incomplete

-cj

2009-04-11T22:17:00.003+08:00

rawr!

Attack of the patapons!

Hatapon is the most cute patapon!

2009-03-24T04:27:00.001+08:00

I still love my little princess
I still care about my angel
You are still the only one
Or are you sad cuz of 1 hug less

-cj

2009-03-10T23:15:00.003+08:00

POC LO!
anyways gogo leopards! and to our cute coy buddy mohawk
GOGO LEOHAWKS!

2009-01-14T05:35:00.002+08:00

Through the skies
I see you
Over the rise
I hold you
Beneath the stars
I feel you
Between the bars
I smell you

Come forth right here
into my arms my dear
for all I need
is you

-cj

2008-11-26T06:40:00.002+08:00

Thy Nineteenthe of Nove

A special someone
A special day
One year has gone
One day unlike

Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
Or was it me not you

At this moment I think of you
No matter how I deny it
Or no matter how you dreamed it
I am still right here

I still need you
I still care about you
Despite all the pain I had done
I still feel you
Like when I am right beside you

I'm sorry for a not so special day
I just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Despite all the pain I had done
I still feel you
Like when I am right beside you

Feel me right in your heart
You are always right here
Right in my heart
Queen and possessor of this heart

Don't you even know
How much I care about you
Or how much I love you
Is it you simply want more?

I will never let you go
Walk down the aisle
Hand in hand
I will never let you go

Hold me tight
Till the special day you so desire

-cj

2008-10-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

yay got princess tml :O

rawr rawrrrr!!!

nibble nibble!! hmph hmph :p

2008-09-15T23:09:00.001+08:00

so it came on some weekend i got some crazy illness called gastric flu! O.o
then got princess come sayang me
and the pain diminished XD
then when she left... it all came back

everytime i sleep
i dream of her caressing me
i want those caresses again!

sobsob

i wan my princess with me for-ever !

2008-08-14T23:14:00.002+08:00

Nibbles

I have a cat, who's name is Nibbles
and he loves to play with soap bubbles
She has a cat, who's name is Meow
and she purrs to tell her mistress she's well

I met her and Nibbles met Meow
on our way to have our things to sell
We gave them food to eat and munch
and they went Nom Nom Nom Nom

Everytime Nibbles nibbled Meow
she went Meeeeoooowwwww!
We saw such a cute and adorable sight
so we thought we were a pair just right

You copied Meow and I copied Nibbles
Cuddled together like fur and rubbles

-cj

2008-07-29T22:56:00.004+08:00

lolwut?!

I want her right beside me
I just want it to happen now
I want that one answer key
to get her right beside me me

Shall we wait? If so wait.. Wait!
Shall we just go ahead? Ahead!?
Shall we do not give a bloody damn?
damn I just wan her, here now now

There is not very much need for gratification
There is none? For I have tasted them all .. All
is there a break to these overwhelming trash?

Just give me what is mine, for she's mine mine mine

Just that one her... discard the rest

-cj

2008-06-13T02:37:00.000+08:00

yay my princess can work in dunno wut kpmg lol

she say it good so ok lo very good~ XD

2008-06-08T04:10:00.002+08:00

Memoirs

As I come saw look and pass
never imagined time as fast
drew deep in mad love-faith
I want my incoming fate

It pains without yet it does with
sheer queer with no respite old
break depths into my very soul
quickly end this everlasting width

That will come I am sure
face it daily with no fear

-cj

2008-05-15T00:17:00.002+08:00

It is like dangling fresh water to a parched man
eat such a huge feast in front of the starved ones
Drugs kept far from its incessant abuser
I feel that withdrawal, that anguish, just like you

Those damned obstacles, the screwed up scums
itching as a thorn on one's ass.. Yet impossible to
just simply remove them from our small lives
lets kill them, one by one or twist them to us

Don't be too sad and stay strong for I rely all on you
as we are able to embrace each other again in due

-cj

2008-05-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

=( lovesick starts today sobs

2008-05-07T23:41:00.002+08:00

Our journey -- Cries of forgiveness

Our inter bond is like a long spiraling journey
of a trail of obstacles, of misery and pain
yet they two bring out the very best of it
treasure every pleasure moments like baby cradles

Shall we walk hand in hand? Or separate??
But at a distance! A short one, within our comfort
It's all about the striking balance of the unattainable
but that is yet what this grueling journey is all about

The past hurts, it always does. Turning back --
even a look, cuts deeper than chill to bone
Feeling it slashes you like a chalk on the sword.
Come and feel my arms, for the shield the dusts of chalk

The journey is unending, our legacy continues on
Like two halves incomplete without the other
let us strengthen our own weaknesses like always
To let close friends, aid and go green on us as always

-cj

2008-04-21T22:41:00.003+08:00

so sad no princess! ahhhhhhhh lovesick so pain sobsob someone catch my princess from taiwan put in my house!!!

I dream of you everyday
in all so many distinct ways
the pain never went flay
as my thoughts flew into disarray

Come to me now please
so my pain will ease

-cj

2008-04-20T16:46:00.002+08:00

My princess complained about it
the lack of a poem a day i promised
yet the excitement kept me on my feet
that one to two emails a day, which i waited

No princess is no inner life nor feeling
my heart goes dead and gusting sadness
my lovesick and craze came unyielding
yet I live by the day of her aura of happiness

How many days more I have to anguish
with her love and touch I could abolish

-cj

2008-04-15T17:35:00.002+08:00

Just when she was about to took off flight
the hidden void began to grow in my life
all darkness and loneliness without light
I just want my sweet tender wife

Ten more days to come
I dream again, we are one

-cj

2008-03-31T00:26:00.001+08:00

its gonna be 5 mths with my princess soon! XD

so happy so happy! got princess so happy! XD XD

the best thing is my father also like my princess! XD

yay my parents like my princess yay can marry soon! XD

2008-03-25T21:27:00.002+08:00

which idiot lets his princess gets bullied? me!
which idiot loves his princess so much yet she never has self love? me!
which idiot cares about his princess so much yet she lets other people bully her? me!

yea so has all the love care and spoiling has no effect or am i plain useless as a boyfriend? i would agree to the latter =(

2008-03-24T18:19:00.002+08:00

Love is like War

Love is like a war that never ever ends
it resides in one's heart and soul ravaging
Yet it is a war with oneself which sends
the other partner sadness and limping

It calls and yearns as strong as bee to honey
in absence, it's just pain and great despair
Neither material nor as evil as paper money
though the physical presence is enough to pair

Unlike wars of the past and present times
it is a war of self, a war where self hurt reigns
These were never seen or objected as of crimes
its effects of the afflicted runs deep beneath

Come to me my devoted one, with just oars
Together lets make mastery of our self-wars

-cj

2008-03-16T23:37:00.001+08:00

Every word Every care are taken to consideration
of a future I try to map out together between us
stand with me and we shall kill this wretched
evils between us.. call me when u need me to stand by you

2008-03-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to my Princess!! XD

may you be happy and spoilt always! XD

2008-03-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

zomg!

12 march is princess bd weee

eat chocolate! eat swensens! eat icecream! eat princess! KEK

2008-03-02T20:35:00.002+08:00

Vengence

In lieu of ice and dreams
comes of frozen time in deem
crushed was the ice in times
till its shatter in rhymes

Begone forlorn cruel deed
be my slave in your creed
thrust this blow to your soul
may your sun never go old

Come to me once again
and lets begin right began

-cj

2008-02-14T22:57:00.002+08:00

today is Vday! or valentine's day XD

too bad cannot go out wif princess but i got her rosario vampire book 3 to 10! XD

anyways today whole day think of princess plus those girls i know well keep asking wut u and ur princess doing later?! must love her a lot hor! :p must pei her! and all those wut not spams

ai ya make it simple! nothing is more forever to me other than my princess
(pardon my bad English! :P)

2008-02-12T00:43:00.000+08:00

i promised princess 3 things termed as M O E

M is manga and she got it :p rosario vampire manga set! yay

guess wut she guessed out the O :o omg omg omg omg too bad she blur blur dunno wut is it although she wants it

hint: i am gonna get it in the comming IT fair in suntec :p

whats E? i am not sure myself since E is the most common alphabet in the words commonly used =X

2008-01-31T23:24:00.001+08:00

i bish my princess! for thinking too much! XD

2008-01-28T22:36:00.000+08:00

Of the birds and stars

The world is a nasty, evil, disgusting place
so much that it burns worst than Hades' realm.
All we can see are deceit, filled with lustful hate.
As the grim reaper beckons soul after soul

In all evils, we have that one thing of feather,
Hope. She sings the greatest song of them all,
residing in every heart, hurt only by grief.
Let the little bird perch in you and sing its birdsong

Love is like the Northern Star. Shining always,
be it in the day where you know none of its presence
or the deep, darkest hour of the night, shining that ray,
that very ray that keeps you going on and on and on.

Fear not my princess, for the star and bird are always with you,
just like how our strings of the stars will entwine us in due.

-cj

2008-01-21T23:51:00.000+08:00

Dreams

I dream of a time, a time of bliss
dreams of pure and true gratification
be it emotional or physical in nature

I dream of you being beside me,
at night, at dawn, at all times
your eyes draw me from sleep

I dream of insane affection
so mad it pains us both all while
be it together or not, pain of lovesick

I dream of the ultimate cure to it
shall you hold my hand and allow us
to eradicate all pain from this alluring love

-cj

2008-01-12T01:01:00.000+08:00

Love is Tender

Love is tender, soft silky and clean
it always seems flawless at first sight
slowly opening to reveal its insides
it is us to decide if it remains beautiful

Love is cold! Green! Selfish! Freezes
our very heart of self desire, for the
greater good for the other half-a-heart
it creates thoughts made by the devils

Love is time. See how fast time goes?
minutes are seconds, hours were minutes,
a single time if without the other's touch
time drags it feet like an old dying sloth

Love is talk! Slight silences pains both greatly!
Imagine a day together without a single word
being even spoken or zero eye contact? Cry
deep inside I would, shatter the silence?

Love is us, what is love without two sweet
lovebirds? Tears and sadness swells without
the presence of the other... Calling out for her
from the deep withins of my heart.. I call out

Love is strong and weak, so strong no other
physical or emotional outside forces can break!
So weak, a slight miscommunication shatters
our very tender and soft heart-of-love...

Love is tender, tenderly I would.. caressing you
not a fault is found in you, just that heart-of-perfection

-cj

2008-01-10T22:33:00.000+08:00

on tuesday princess come gimme food for lunch! XD and she made me feel like the most fortunate bf ever existed O.o why this feeling? i dunno it just feels good...then i remember 1 friend his ex just spend his money till he broke and she can still squeeze out more money off him! XD

then stupid compy irritating cannot on wow and play.... should i take a huge break from wow? Then super upgrade my computer to play wrath of the lich king? after the silly A levels i guess

why cant princess stay like right beside me in the same house? >_< ultimate cure for our lovesick! yay tml got princess! GOT PRINCESS spam spam spam spam spam SPAM SPAM SPAM :o

2008-01-07T23:22:00.000+08:00

hmph i gonna spoil my princess so badly that even her mother complains that she is damn spoilt! XD

ahhh princess faster stay with me :O

2007-12-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

In a life where promises were never fulfilled
came fulfillment in life, I am always greedy
Greedy for more for all the things I want
there is no need to satisfy my desire at all

I will do as you please, as you command
Why could not we come together closer
so close whenever I open my eyes I see you
such sights, the smell tingles ever strongly

Quick! Quick! Why can't we grow up quickly
but I love the idea of being a small little boy

-cj

2007-12-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes u are the special one
that very only one you desire
what if baby cry... Mummy selfish?!!
It's okay anyways, it's mummy's fault

No girl has being able to eradicate her past
could tell that you do not at all, but it's alright
slowly we make it to exactly... as you desire!
for I am here, for the sole purpose to serve

Your possessiveness is cute, for I'm only yours
this is not madness, it's just we are madly in love

-cj

2007-12-30T01:31:00.001+08:00

ahhh sch gonna open and cannot see princess everyday sobs!

why we cannot stay together? =/

2007-12-27T19:01:00.000+08:00

hmm i think was yesterday princess wanna run across field

so okay lor princess say mah then omg omg omg all the mud! T-T

end up need wash my pants lols then i thought of an extremely lame poem... here goes

Walking around in my underwear
dancing to the music in the air
with my girlfriend's boxer-wear
dirty yet I feel only her care

Scrubbing clean our footwear
when will she be mine to heir?

-cj

2007-12-26T02:10:00.000+08:00

we shall kiss under the beaming auroras of the beautiful sky

2007-12-19T23:50:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhh

today cannot see my princess... why? cause she go out with her mummy =/ sobsobs and ppl bully her hmph those buggers!

the worst thing is tml cannot meet her! argh! i am dying of lovesick

Became next to madness
surprisingly it's better
the insatiable desire for
each other is just too great

why can't we stay together
for ever and ever and ever

-cj

2007-12-18T00:30:00.000+08:00

so happy so happy

cause i got princess i got princess

KEK

2007-12-11T20:47:00.000+08:00

i now have an insane addiction, a painful one.... i wanna see my princess now now now ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2007-12-08T15:10:00.000+08:00

With stable emotions I'm ready

for what the future has to offer

the past shall not even bother

as I carry on with my planned deeds

Watch us from the heavens my sister

I shall not let myself or anyone loved down

-cj

2007-12-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

she fell and passed

but I still feel love

that insane yet deep

love for my one princess

-cj

sad for i lost some one so loved once my lover, then my sister

love is not all lost, i am still here, still love still there

i see you vanny, my eternal guardian angel as always X)

may your soul find eternal peace

2007-12-06T13:15:00.000+08:00

i sat here waiting for my princess to get online but she is in sch =/

i want to call her but overseas call = gg at the cost

vanny looks okay, but can tell the essence of life is like gone from her =/

for some reason i feel both sad and emotionless, all the mixed feelings O.o

and i just wanna go and hug my princess and kiss her dearly T-T

2007-12-05T08:05:00.000+08:00

=/

l leave you temporary
to see her, for the last
wonder what I would do
only time can tell me

Know that you are
truly my everything
too precious to let go
too loved to forget

She was my first
not my last love
she made me today
for that I thank her

Watching her part
shall not be easy
knowing I'm still loved
it shall prove a little easier

Wait for me!
I'll fall to your arms
when I return
Loving you

Completely..
my beloved princess

-cj

2007-12-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

Her

I held her, she held me
we knew each other
never that long, but
always that very deep

-cj

It Was Her

We held each other in our arms.... tightly
our pain overwhelmed by each other's presence
for that moment, I found no sorrow in my heart
It was just plain yet insane joy! Bursting within

Saw deaths of one hated, one not known at all
never one of a loved, but love did so much to me
it has killed me and made me undeath yet revived me
NONE has fell deep into darkness if one doesn't intend!

Shall I intend to fall deep into that damned abyss?
NEVER... for I found someone too precious to let go
far too delicate to hurt, all my pride is her utmost care
my courage is her constant love, my valor is her pride

I've seen deceit, madness.. evil and prided by them
meeting her was like a cleanse of such misery
You unlocked feelings none has opened in me
Only You, have opened paths for me only saints can enjoy

Your fears, sadness and misery.... Just kills
painfully, slowly for I feel I never have done well
But your Love, my source of courage, the very essence
that holds and binds me to this world and to only you
kept me going.. and going.. and going.. for the sake of you

I saw you knowing you can ease my pain of suffering
Never thought you could do so much more to me
and when you did, my heart and soul cried out loud
FOR THIS UNDEAD SHALL LIVE ONCE AGAIN

I'll be on your side, no doubt.. for I now have that very will
to relive a new life... with only you as my only precious queen

-cj

2007-12-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

3 Days

It was only three days, I never saw her
I was never spared the three whole days
of anguish, pain, withdrawal and yearn to see her
hearing her voice was like water to a thirsty man

My undead body turned to rot, refusing to move
for I woke up in each of the three days
knowing I couldn't see my darling princess
but I managed to survive, with the little contact I had

The three lonely and dreadful days are coming to an end
the time I could see my angel again was drawing near
together, it seem like a moment.. away it was eternity
soon we have to part, where our love will be tested and stretched

-cj

2007-12-02T22:55:00.001+08:00

This turtle is the cure of my lovesick! and may one day replace my smelly teddy bear which is as old as me :p

whenever i think of princess! I HUG TURTLE! and wonder how is my princess doing =P

now all i need to do i prove to her i love her, words and actions dunt seem to work..... hopefully time can tell, so confident am i that i will still love her, inferiority never existed when u love a person so dearly

and yea! maybe theres a song i like to let her listen, i think i sing to her b4! =X pardon my crappy vocals =P

"Truly Madly Deeply"

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning, yeah

[chorus:]
I want to stand with you on
a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining
brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the
pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the
comfort and protection of

The highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you

[chorus]

Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cause it's standing right
before you
All that you need will surely come

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do

[chorus]

I want to stand with you on a
mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to live like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

not a need to bold anything lyrics at all... because EVERY WORD i want her to know! so if i bolded, i would bold everything :p soooo i made it in SPECIAL FONT!!! KEK (orcish word for lol)

her means princess btw! NO ONE ELSE!!!! HMPH other girls

2007-11-28T20:53:00.000+08:00

sick + exhaustion really saps my brain juices dry!

then my princess also sick sobs! hmph the sore throat bug!!!

anyways... so happy! i wonder when i would spam chocolates with princess again =P

2007-11-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

Burnt

exhaustion has being eating into me
bit by bit, fatigue creeps in like the night
nothing keeps me more awake than you
thinking of you, all my thoughts on you

the burning pain and anguish of love
all suffer able just for those moments
those moments we longed for ages
as the times together happily seeps away

sad as we are, evil our past, I'll do it all
to just let it stay, better as time passes

-cj

2007-11-22T18:23:00.000+08:00

Thinking

It is all like an addiction, more powerful
more inducing than any drug man has made
it corrupts all thoughts, erases all concentration
all I could ever think of was her alone

I gave her all my heart, all thoughts... everything
just to see her smile, just to see her contented
I am greedy, I always want more from her
but I am so ready to give that so much more

SEE! what love has done to me, but I know
that I am truly happy inside because you cared

-cj

2007-11-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

You

Love beautifies the soul, just as
happiness rejuvenates the heart
Never saw her with such beauty
and such aura of rebirth

Her Love, My courage
when both hearts entwine as one
such radiance makes the stars turn
and make angels cry with joy

-cj

2007-11-20T21:11:00.000+08:00

彩虹 - 周杰伦

哪里有彩虹告诉我　
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静　
所有的云都跑到我这里
有没有口罩一个给我　
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药　
也是我现在正服下的毒药
看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着　
你的声音这么近我却抱不到
没有地球　太阳还是会绕　
没有理由　我也能自己走
你要离开我知道很简单　
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱　
当作我最后才明白
有没有口罩一个给我　
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药　
也是我现在正服下的毒药
看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着　
你的声音这么近我却抱不到
没有地球　太阳还是会绕　
没有理由　我也能自己走
你要离开我知道很简单　
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱　
当作我最后才明白
看不见你的笑　
要我怎么睡的着　
你的声音这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕会绕　
没有理由我也能自己走掉
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药　
也是我现在正服下的毒药
你要离开我知道很简单　
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱　
当作我最后才明白

2007-11-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

Darling!

Not let our past affect our future
we came together due to our past
all we should care is the present
for it affects our future together

I'll give it all and everything for you
of course, I am selfish and want that too
spending the rest of our lives together
would be like eternal bliss for me

May our shared dreams come to reality
let nothing stand in our way, undeniably

-cj

2007-11-18T20:23:00.000+08:00

the CD!

album cover!

weee! my princess bought me this album... one i have being searching for a long time of this edition with Destroyed inside =/

thanks princess! anyways these days keep thinking how to ask princess that burning question n my head, i guess i finally know wut to say now XD

2007-11-16T16:57:00.000+08:00

Unbreakable

Beneath this cruel, rotting flesh
further than these seared eye sockets
lies a need, extremely dire yet delicate
cries of aid or help became to silence

She came just like an ordinary human
no one knew what was inside of her
tender and beautiful like a princess
forgiveness and strength of an angel

It was never a match made in heaven
but I'll make you feel heaven... eternally

-cj

2007-11-15T00:36:00.000+08:00

The Shattering

All I see in my dreams are only you
the beautiful yet flawed princess
even the undeath mourn for such pain
for your heart is locked in an icy prison

My flesh can kill your loneliness and pain
bones and sinew defend you physically
Heart and love shatter your walls of uncertainty
Thou shall never die in my heart, kept by her

I require that sword to my complete knighthood,

a proud undead knight, to shatter that prison I MUST

-cj

2007-11-14T09:32:00.000+08:00

My Blade

I lived once a human, now as an undead
fought alive as a warrior, again as knight
Undead I maybe, I have a beating heart
cruel as always, I still seek to serve

This rotting brain of mine, simplistic!
thinks of no one but of that i knew alive
of that whom raised my dead body
as her knight, proudly i stood and salute

I have no need for a sword to combat
Flesh, Bone, Sinew, Craze are all I need
but whatever the princess presents
I gladly accept, I truly want a weapon

My undying heart, kept alive and beating
by my warrior-mate, by my beloved princess
I wish it will never die, may my mate fall
For I have a princess to care..to protect

-cj

2007-11-13T13:30:00.000+08:00

The UnDeath Knight

I come to you, not as your desire
never as that knight in shining armour
neither as the one you have in your eyes
nor the one you saw in your dreams

I come to you, for you revived this
dead, cruel soul of an un-beating heart
you spared this world of a crazed menace
by reliving my heart and soul by acceptance

I come to you, as your undead knight
none can describe the pride instilled into me
when you championed me as your very knight
undeath or not i strive to crush your woes

I come to you, to serve the princess
unwavering faith, un-shatterable courage
I require no sword but my flesh, blood, bone
undaunted by all in my path, deranged in my oath

I come to you, silently muttering my oath
driven by my again living heart and soul
will always be there at your command
I'll carry it out, for the undeath lives by his vow

You may not be princess to others, but they live
I am undead.. With you, fear despair grief i do not know
Do not leave me, for a knight is incompetent without his lady
I'll swear to be by your side so long you keep this
heart and soul of mine alive, promises never worked for undead
I've come to you... to serve, to protect, to annihilate for you

-cj

months have passed with me being dead all over, nothing feels better than being able to feel alive again, none can describe, words can never do that too, but the care and love for the undead knight shows certainly will.....

The Undead Knight's Oath

Be loyal of hand and of mouth,
Seeking to serve only that one princess
Be humble and courteous
Never allow her to suffer by thy default,
Love and care for her with thy life
Always life thy hand to protect
If thou must draw thy life to defend her,
Do so unto thy own death.
I solemnly swear
May my heart and soul burn
If any part thereof oath... broken

2007-11-12T15:24:00.000+08:00

yes! i am championed as her undead knight! XD

unwavering
undying
undaunted

deranged!

so wut should i do? protect her with my un-death life (:

of course! theres a song to delicate to her! (:

Somewhere

Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign
Instead there is only silence,
Can't you hear my screams...?
Never stop hoping,
Need to know where you are
But one thing 's for sure,
You're always in my heart.

I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying until my dying day
I just need to know whatever has happened,
The Truth will free my soul.

Lost in the darkness, try to find your way home
I want to embrace you and never let you go...
Almost hope you're in heaven so no one can hurt your soul...
Living in agony 'cause I just do not know
Where you are

I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying until my dying day
I just need to know whatever has happened,
The truth will free my soul.

Wherever you are, I won't stop searching.
Whatever it takes, I need to know.

I'll find you somewhere
I'll keep on trying until my dying day
I just need to know whatever has happened,
The truth will free my soul.

- Within Temptation

If I ever do find you, I'll make sure you will never feel hurt and you will be my one and only princess for you are the only one in the world whom i will ever truly love. No more other than you, just you. It is not a promise, it's me, i am like that.

2007-11-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

it has being 1 month(31 days) since i started to make that princess mine >_< far longer than the time i took to go for vanny which was 21 days =/ ....and guess wut? i will definitely take a much longer time!

but i believe that the harder to attain what u desire, the more u will treasure it... since i was able to love vanny soo much, maybe if i ever get that princess, i might love her more? X)

the biggest problem is am i able to take the death of a loved one that i love so dearly? but as i spend more time with the princess, the more sure i am that i would love her more than ever rather than forget her and let this love for her die off. =) and yea i cannot take any love-related hurt anymore, it is u or that is it for me =/

and yes! lettme TPL u okies! (: u know what i mean! X)

2007-11-08T02:41:00.000+08:00

u know theres 1 thing better than knowing your loved one is happy and contented

and that is both are contented and happy (:

it just feels so damn good

2007-11-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

i found a song that really fits my situation with vanny =/

Memories

Memories, memories, memories

In this world you tried
Not leaving me alone behind
There's no other way
I'll pray to the gods let him stay
The memories ease the pain inside,
Now I know why

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imagine you'd be here.
All of my memories keep you near,
Your silent whispers, silent tears

Made me promise I'd try
To find my way back in this life.
I hope there is a way
To give me a sign you're okay.
Reminds me again it's worth it all
So I can go home.

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imagine you'd be here.
All of my memories keep you near,
Your silent whispers, silent tears.

Together in all these memories
I see your smile.
All the memories I hold dear.
Darling, you know I'll love you
till the end of time.

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imagine you'd be here.
All of my memories keep you near,
Your silent whispers, silent tears.

All of my memories...

- Within Temptation

bolded simply means those words hold alot of meaning to me T-T , i know u are reading this vanny, we take this as one of the songs to listen when we are together for the last few moments, okay?

and to my princess, do not feel useless or bad or anything okay? i seriously am not able to love again, and u will be the last girl i will ever truly love, and i will willing to wait, willing to take all the cold feelings u give me back..... i really love you

2007-11-05T23:33:00.000+08:00

serious a quote from ming

'no matter wat as long as anithing to do wif other tat happen to her is all our sad problem'

damn true

sad but true

=/

nothing to say

2007-11-05T01:16:00.000+08:00

they say transparency between a couple will bring about a lasting relationship.... we see how true they are lmao

ming said a girl who had a bad past will always remember the past no matter what.. quite true... thinking if i can take up with it, guess since i already planned this to be the last just take it! =/

still, i cant imagine how can i cope with the death of a loved one, maybe with her by my side, she could lessen my pain? seriously i am quite confused O.o

it is always my fault anyways

2007-11-02T01:01:00.000+08:00

i didnt know i could love again......

well least it makes her passing less painful ):

at least i got someone to love! (:

it really seems that i MUST have dark emotions then i can kek a poem lmao

2007-10-30T01:15:00.001+08:00

it is a real pity those NICE girls i know always get cheated by their boyfriends or just get completely controlled by their boyfriends! pity sia and the best thing is they do not learn from the hurt

then more sad is those SHIT girls get damn nice boyfriends -_- ..... at least that guy knows and learns from his mistake....

whole week keep telling those girls how sarky their boyfriends are and stuff, tell me they think what i say is right, end up next day say i think i wanna follow what he say! -_-""

no poetry! feeling numb as hell emotionally

2007-10-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

The Bloody Affection

Blood haze comes with
Alcohol drenched blood
Glaring bloodshot eyes
Tears drip as blood

Slits of wounds...spilling
pounding of beats in wrists
bobbled, troubled, sinister
Choked by thy blood

Pain no more! Weep no more!
Adore turned to friendship
Gleefully accept for self-affliction
Love..bleeding..bleeding and bleeding

-cj

weeeee i am not her close friend.... not bad eh! all the best princess >_< and may u find his true self what u really want in a guy (:

2007-10-24T01:43:00.001+08:00

100% can promote...so? good education -> good job/career -> big bucks
no girl to truly love or care for all those seem so meaningless, just take care of parents to their death then i can die also =/

i have seen death of someone hated, death of someone i do not know of.... but not death of a loved one, that day draws nearer, too much emotions inside, i also dunno how i feel... holidays already, make sure go back see her, most probably 1 last time... T-T

enough of rantings about death, next is about me trying to truly care again... diffcult! i guess she really needs more time to get herself up... i still care for u! princess :p

Death looms overhead
Overwhelmed by darkness
As i groped around blinded
Only that other ray of light
Can bring me out of this, to
Love again, hate inclusive

-cj